Dear Mr. R. R. Martin,
I would like to take this time to thank you for writing A Song of Ice and Fire, as it is such a compelling series. When I bought the first four books several years ago, I was hooked. It was a torrid affair; I read your books all night long, I missed them desperately when I couldn’t read them, I threw them down in disgust when the plot twisted (and oh, how the plot twisted) only to pick them back up, whispering abject apologies, to continue reading. After finishing the four thousand-odd pages, I was content in the knowledge that you were hard at work on the next book in your Song of Ice and Fire series. I even re-read all four books in the summer of 2008 in anticipation of the next book coming out that same fall.
Little did I know.
RR, (may I call you RR? I feel like we’ve been through too much to cling to formalities) I know you are very excited that your series has been optioned by HBO. You’ve said as much in your blog, which you thoughtfully keep updated. Honestly, who wouldn’t be excited about it? It is obvious you put a lot of effort, not to mention time, into A Song of Ice and Fire, and it must feel wonderful to have all your work pay off. It is also great to see that you are so involved in the project with HBO; this means the series may not be too horrible, unlike most adaptations of books for television or film.
However, and I apologize for asking this, because you know we’re tight—thick as thieves, you and me, RR—but… Are you ever going to finish the damn series? I looked at your blog today, and what did I see? You were bragging that you’re in Morocco. Mor-fucking-occo. That’s nice for you, and I’m really happy, but do you think that maybe you should stop jetting all over the world while helping shoot your damn pilot episode and finish the next book? You know what—keep traveling if that’s what you want, they make these fantastic contraptions now call “laptops” that can travel with you, and you can write books on them from wherever you go! If that’s not an option, I hear some people are still using the tried-but-true pen and paper approach to writing.
I’m just sayin’—I’m not the only one waiting on this. To think, there are people that preordered this book when the option was available last year.
So here’s the thing, RR: I love A Song of Ice and Fire, love every heartbreak and victory and plot twist and sly remark. I would love to continue my relationship with this series, but for that to happen you’re going to have to actually sit down and finish the next book. I’m asking nicely. Hell, I’m begging. Pretty please?
Yours faithfully,
Patty
PS – I don’t want to sound like I’m drinking the haterade, but I saw your picture on your Wikipedia article, and while I love facial hair more than the average woman, damn. You might wanna trim that sucker up a bit. Again, just sayin’.