Crazy Joe has met his match
There are certain things in life that we simply take for granted. I wake up, yawn and stretch, put my glasses on, and perform the necessary rituals. It has been said that I am one of the most “regular” men ever to be born on this earth. I finish the deed, I push the lever, and the result goes down the hole.
Wait right there a second. Sadly, that hasn’t been the case of late. Our toilet was in a sorry state. After having guests visit for the past two months straight, our toilet was struggling, leaky, and slow. “That just won’t do,” I thought to myself as I realized I have CrazyJoe visiting in a few weeks.
The search was on for a new toilet. I knew I was in for trouble when the salesman at Home Depot, who looked like a college dropout, approached and asked if we needed help with anything. Shockingly, he turned out to have more toilet knowledge than anyone I’ve ever met. In fact, he sounded exactly like a car aficionado, except he was talking about toilets:
- “What are you looking for: performance, style, or maybe value?”
- “This model was known to perform really well as a 1.6, but as with the transition to 1.6 when the old designs gave poor performance, it’s an unknown quantity now at 1.28.”
- “You happen to have chosen the second heaviest model on our shelf.”
- “I usually prefer Kohler’s looks, but if it’s performance you’re after, it’s hard to beat American Standard.”
As it turns out, his expert guidance led us to the exact model of toilet that a friend had recently recommended, although he didn’t know the model name, “Hey, you should get that toilet that can flush a bucket of golf balls!” This legendary performer is known by one name: Champion 4.
It’s called the Champion for a reason: it really does what it promises. In the manufacturer’s own words:
Meet the Champion 4, the undisputed leader in high performance toilets. With the industry’s widest 2 3/8″ trapway and 4″ flush valve, it created a plunger free world for homeowners and virtually eliminated clogged toilet call backs for plumbers. The Champion will move a mass 70% larger than the industry standard. It achieves the highest bulk removal rating of 1,000 grams and will even flush a bucket of golf balls! Which means you can flush with confidence and never worry about plunging a toilet again.
You read that right. The Champion 4 is the undisputed leader in high performance toilets. This thing is faster than a GT-R. Well, at least, if flushes faster than a GT-R. After a week of use and abuse by a houseful of residents and guests passing through a single bathroom, I can honestly say that the Champion 4 is the best toilet I have ever used.
While I haven’t yet tried to flush a bucket of golf balls, it is incredibly satisfying to push the lever and, as promised, the result goes down the hole. What more could you ask of a toilet?
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